Conaill Corner points out what is wrong, and what is right with the new big wheel.
ON Thursday 25th March me and my family went on the Liverpool wheel opening.
First we helped ourselves to burgers, then a mini portion of fish and chips which were very impressive.
After that, we saw a few speeches.
Finally, it’s time to go on the wheel! Soon we are ready to go.
When we set off, my brother said: ‘We are going round five times.’ Was he right? The answer is … no.
Sadly we went round eight times (make that eight thousand times) which seems about half an hour which is when you really do get bored, even the commentary wasn’t enough!
Then after a flippin’ long time, fireworks appeared in the sky (WARNING! YOU WON’T GET FIREWORKS WHEN YOU GO ON THE WHEEL!)
The fireworks were good for a while but then I got bored of them too.
Hooray! We’ve stopped! Goodbye ECHO Arena wheel.
Food: 9/10
Entertainment: 4/10
Overall: 13/20
9 comments:
Hmmm, excellent review of the wheel. Okay, I would say that because I'm the father but, nevertheless, it IS an excellent review, and a true reflection of the experience, I can confirm. Two spins of the wheel would be quite enough, but only if they reduced the rather high price by quite a lot really. Burgers and fish and chips were, though, very good, as stated in Master Corner's splendid critique. Yes, all right, I'm the dad, but splendid it is all the same.
Thanks, by the way, I'm nothin' to do with this guy, I'm not like him, I'm better!
We had a go on the new wheel, but to make sure it was safe I insisted on looking at the controls with my friend Mr Clack. He is an expert on machines and electronics, well he managed to mend the toaster after Mrs Hewitt’s false teeth got stuck in it.
I didn't notice they were attached to the brioche when I shoved it in. She does that. It's a bit like people putting their towels on the sunbeds at the swimming pool.
So we checked the wheel and Mr Clack said that the brakes needed fixing. So while I kept the man talking he had a quick fiddle with them to make them safer. They don't like you touching things, it was just the same when he was letting some of the air out of the tyres on the plane before we flew to Amsterdam. Just to get a better grip on landing. Twelve hours they had us locked up for after that!
So once he had sorted the brakes we got on the wheel. Started off nice and slow and I was enjoying the view as we started to get higher. My wife, Mrs Chucklebutty was trying to open the window so she could spit peanuts at the people below, she always does that when she's high up. Her friend Mrs Hewitt didn't like it though and said it was too high, she wouldn't look out of the window and lay down on the floor saying I want to get off now!!! As we reached the top suddenly the thing speeded up and began to get faster and faster. In fact it got so fast that we all lifted off the floor as it went down just like an astronaut when they become weightless. The as it went up again we all slammed back to the bottom of the car. Everything outside was a blur as it began to go around so fast it was like being in the spin dryer. Brought back all those memories of when mother dropped me in by accident when I was small.
The wheel was out of control whirling round like a Catherine wheel firework with us all stuck to the sides and our faces pressed against the glass, I can remember the SCHUUUMM, SCHUUUMM !! sound it made as it revolved at about 300 miles an hour. Mr Clack said he was going to be sick and I said well don’t do it on the seats or they will make us pay for cleaning them, so he grabbed Mrs Hewitt’s hat and was sick in that. She was very cross with him, even when he said that she could just turn it inside out when we get off. “I’m not walking through town with my hat covered in sick!” she said. So to shut her up he emptied it into her handbag while she spun back around to the other side.
We could just about hear the emergency services arriving below and after another 10 minutes they must have cut the power and we began to slow down. When it finally stopped and we got out, we were so dizzy that we couldn’t stop walking in bandy legged circles. We only managed to stop when we fell into the water. Rescued by the Liverpool Duck. The vehicle I mean, not a real duck! At least falling into the docks rinsed the sick off of Mrs Hewitt’s hat. She went mad later at the bus stop though when she reached into her handbag for her bus pass and found Mr Clacks breakfast in there.
It was a frightening experience, but just imagine how bad it would have been if Mr Clack hadn’t fixed the brakes. Who knows how fast it would have been?
If we want excitement now we just stick to the local park and push the kids off the merry-go-round when their mums aren’t looking so we can pile on.
This ferris wheel is NOT recommended.
Dear Mr Cornerconaill 4....what happened to the other three?
Thank you for alerting me to your change of blog colour.
Did that trip on the wheel take so long it went dark?
Your new blog colour scheme reminds me of a school blackboard. We didn't have these electronic Whiteboards when I was at school or Magic marker pens that make the teacher smell like they have been drinking Gin...although my teacher usually had been drinking gin. No, when I was at school we had a big blackboard at the front of the class and the teacher, Mrs Fluff would write on it for hours using white chalk. On special days she might get the red chalk out as a treat for us or if she wanted to draw something with lots of blood. Actually she got the red chalk out quite a lot. She regularly drew blood from what I can remember. If she was in a bad mood though, she would write on the blackboard using black chalk and tell us to copy it down. Anyone who made a mistake would be put in the school dinner bin, which was full of cheese pie, thick custard and wasps. Only her niece who was in our class ever got it all right, so we spent a lot of time with the wasps.
Of course they wouldn't be able to do that now. No, they've stopped making that cheese pie.
Anyway, as I said, Mrs Fluff would write all this stuff down and make us copy it. But we didn't have exercise books or even paper, oh no. We had our own little piece of chalk which had to last the whole term and she would make us copy it all on a slate. In one week I fell off the roof three times. Luckily each time I landed on the dinner lady who was getting some of the cheese pie back out of the bin as they had run out.
Hope you are well and thank you for your message.
Best Wishes
Professor Chucklebutty
Are you insulting me??!!!
Certainly not, I would never do such a thing, anyway I am far too busy insulting other people or knocking on their doors and legging it. It's hard work being a Professor you know, I sometimes wish I had taken the job in the shoe shop like my mother wanted me to.
Oh, yes, I remember your mother at the time, saying: "Heel regret it."
Gerry, that's not funny.
No one likes a smart arse.
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